Quick Telecast
Expect News First

Infant loss: Couple lose identical twin baby girls at four days old, ‘Our worlds stopped’ | Exclusive

0 4


*This article deals with loss and may be distressing for some readers*

It’s the phone call no parent with a baby in the NICU wants to receive.

For Sky Matheos and her partner Trisdan, the ‘devastating’ call came on April 16 this year and shattered their entire world.

The couple’s identical twin baby girls, Remi and River, were in the NICU at the Royal Women’s Hospital in Melbourne.

READ MORE: Mum’s message to those recovering from stillbirth

Sky Matheos and her partner Trisden lost their twins when they were four days old. (Supplied)

Just four days earlier, after an extremely stressful pregnancy, the girls had arrived prematurely.

They were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation, weighing just 512gms (Remi) and 576gms (River).

“When I found out I was pregnant with twins last year, we were thrilled,” Sky tells 9Honey Parenting. “And everything was fine until our 12-week scan.”

“We discovered that Remi had low amniotic fluid and doctors told me we were now extremely high-risk.”

‘I was so scared’

At 20 weeks, Sky’s waters for Remi fully ruptured.

“I was lying in bed and when I got up I heard a pop,” the 24-year-old legal assistant recalls. “I was told I would most likely give birth in the next 24 to 48 hours, but I was determined to hold on.”

In general, babies are not considered to be viable until they reach 24 weeks gestation.

Sky was put on strict bed rest and barely moved except to go to hospital or the toilet for three weeks.

They were so tiny, but they were breathing and stable.

“Every time I stood up I leaked, she recalls. “And that was devastating – I just wanted to keep the girls in there as long as possible and give them the best chance of survival.”

“I was so scared but I remained hopeful everything would be fine.”

At 23 weeks, Sky felt cramping and saw blood, so the couple rushed off to emergency. Five days later, the girls entered the world in a dramatic natural birth, just four minutes apart.

“When I finally got to see the girls in the NICU it was so bittersweet,” Sky explains. “They were so tiny, but they were breathing and stable. I was amazed at what the doctors could do.”

READ MORE: Stillbirth happens more often than you think

Baby Remi in the NICU
The girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation, and Remi weighed just 512gms (Supplied)

While momentarily happy, the Melbourne couple were aware it wasn’t going to be an easy road.

We knew NICU is a tough long journey,” Sky admits. “And it’s daunting. It’s the sounds that get you the most. All the machines, the life-saving equipment, the bells and alarms going off and doctors talking in hushed tones using medical terms you don’t understand.”

Sky and Trisdan were then informed that micro-preemies like Remi and River often have what’s described as a ‘honeymoon’ phase where they may appear stable – but their true situation starts to show by the end of that first week.

Unfortunately, it was just a few days before the girls picked up an infection, due to their non-existent immune systems.

“We knew we had a long journey ahead of us, but nothing could have prepared us for what happened next,” the devastated mum says through tears.

READ MORE: ‘I was meant to have three babies’

The baby girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation.
The baby girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation. (Supplied)

‘In my arms’

Sky and Trisden had barely slept in weeks, when that terrible phone call came on the fourth night as they showered and were preparing to return to hospital.

“Trisdan took the call and put the doctor on loudspeaker,” Sky reveals. “The doctor said the babies were really sick. The infection had set in and because the babies were so tiny, there was nothing more they could do. They had maxed out all possible medical interventions.

They asked us to come in because the girls weren’t going to make it through the night.”

“I have never, ever heard Trisden cry like that. He completely broke down.”

Sky Matheos' babies passed away together just hours apart
Sky Matheos’ babies passed away together just hours apart (Supplied)

When the couple got to the NICU around 11pm, there were doctors and nurses everywhere.

“That was when I knew something was really wrong,” she recalls. “It was so hectic. We wanted to see the girls, but at the same time we wanted to doctors to do whatever they needed.”

“I was so upset and scared, but I had spoken to so many mums on Facebook groups whose babies had pulled through, I truly thought our girls would defy the odds too. There are so many hopeful stories out there.”

READ MORE: ‘How my rainbow babies helped my heart to heal’

Sky is sharing her story for International Loss Day.
Sky is sharing her story for International Loss Day. (Supplied)

At around midnight, the head doctor turned to Sky and Trisdan and said that things ‘weren’t looking good’ for River and she was going to pass away soon – and that she could take her out of the incubator so she could die in Sky’s arms.

“I was so worried about taking her out, micro-preemies are so delicate, I didn’t want to contribute to anything,” Sky explains, dwelling on the most heartbreaking decision she’s ever made.

“The doctor basically said ‘You can stand there and watch her die alone or we put her in your arms so she dies where she is familiar, listening to your heartbeat’.”

Just before midnight, River was placed in her mother’s arms.

“It was the first time I held her,” Sky sobs. “And I just cuddled her and cried and prayed she would make it through. I told her to stay. But about 10 minutes later she took her last breath.”

‘Our world stopped’

Tragically, baby Remi then went through the exact same process just five hours later, also passing away in Sky’s arms.

Sky says nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child.
Sky says nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child. (Supplied)

The couple stayed at the hospital until the following day, cuddling their babies and having precious photographs taken.

“Our world stopped when Remi and River died,” Sky reveals. “I will never forget leaving the hospital with empty arms … and we saw a mum and dad leaving the hospital with their newborn twins.”

“I was in shock. I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve been in physical pain since we lost the girls. And the pain never goes away… you just grow around it.”

“I can’t stop playing that last night in my head. And I think about River and Remi constantly, especially at night time when it’s quiet.”

Break the silence

Sky is sharing her story as part of International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – to let others know they are not alone and to break the taboo that still surrounds infant loss.

“There is nothing that can prepare you for the loss of your babies,” the brave mum admits. “Yet sadly it affects so many Australian families.”

“I want people to know how common it is and to help raise awareness so we can help stop the stigma.”

While Sky is still so grief-stricken she is unable to work, she hopes to make it easier for families to speak openly about their own loss experiences.

“Why is it that as soon as you mention a pregnancy loss or deceased baby the conversation stops? Usually during a conversation about children, if they are living there are many questions, but if you mention your baby has died, the conversation becomes awkward.

“I want to talk lovingly about Remi and River and want people to ask me about them and say their names.”

How you can get involved

  • Friday 15 October – Light a candle at 7pm to join the wave of light for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Take a photo and upload to social media with #pail and #standingsilent
  • Sunday 17 October – SANDS Virtual Walk to Remember online event:
  • 10 – 17 October: Walk to Remember events in Perth, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Adelaide and regional Queensland:

For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here.

If you need immediate help please call Lifeline on 131114

If you or someone you know has suffered pregnancy or infant loss please contact:
Pink Elephants Support Network –
pinkelephants.org.au
SANDS –
sands.org.au
Red Nose Australia –
rednose.org.au


*This article deals with loss and may be distressing for some readers*

It’s the phone call no parent with a baby in the NICU wants to receive.

For Sky Matheos and her partner Trisdan, the ‘devastating’ call came on April 16 this year and shattered their entire world.

The couple’s identical twin baby girls, Remi and River, were in the NICU at the Royal Women’s Hospital in Melbourne.

READ MORE: Mum’s message to those recovering from stillbirth

Sky Matheos and her partner Trisden lost their twins when they were four days old.
Sky Matheos and her partner Trisden lost their twins when they were four days old. (Supplied)

Just four days earlier, after an extremely stressful pregnancy, the girls had arrived prematurely.

They were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation, weighing just 512gms (Remi) and 576gms (River).

“When I found out I was pregnant with twins last year, we were thrilled,” Sky tells 9Honey Parenting. “And everything was fine until our 12-week scan.”

“We discovered that Remi had low amniotic fluid and doctors told me we were now extremely high-risk.”

‘I was so scared’

At 20 weeks, Sky’s waters for Remi fully ruptured.

“I was lying in bed and when I got up I heard a pop,” the 24-year-old legal assistant recalls. “I was told I would most likely give birth in the next 24 to 48 hours, but I was determined to hold on.”

In general, babies are not considered to be viable until they reach 24 weeks gestation.

Sky was put on strict bed rest and barely moved except to go to hospital or the toilet for three weeks.

They were so tiny, but they were breathing and stable.

“Every time I stood up I leaked, she recalls. “And that was devastating – I just wanted to keep the girls in there as long as possible and give them the best chance of survival.”

“I was so scared but I remained hopeful everything would be fine.”

At 23 weeks, Sky felt cramping and saw blood, so the couple rushed off to emergency. Five days later, the girls entered the world in a dramatic natural birth, just four minutes apart.

“When I finally got to see the girls in the NICU it was so bittersweet,” Sky explains. “They were so tiny, but they were breathing and stable. I was amazed at what the doctors could do.”

READ MORE: Stillbirth happens more often than you think

Baby Remi in the NICU
The girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation, and Remi weighed just 512gms (Supplied)

While momentarily happy, the Melbourne couple were aware it wasn’t going to be an easy road.

We knew NICU is a tough long journey,” Sky admits. “And it’s daunting. It’s the sounds that get you the most. All the machines, the life-saving equipment, the bells and alarms going off and doctors talking in hushed tones using medical terms you don’t understand.”

Sky and Trisdan were then informed that micro-preemies like Remi and River often have what’s described as a ‘honeymoon’ phase where they may appear stable – but their true situation starts to show by the end of that first week.

Unfortunately, it was just a few days before the girls picked up an infection, due to their non-existent immune systems.

“We knew we had a long journey ahead of us, but nothing could have prepared us for what happened next,” the devastated mum says through tears.

READ MORE: ‘I was meant to have three babies’

The baby girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation.
The baby girls were born at 23 weeks and five days gestation. (Supplied)

‘In my arms’

Sky and Trisden had barely slept in weeks, when that terrible phone call came on the fourth night as they showered and were preparing to return to hospital.

“Trisdan took the call and put the doctor on loudspeaker,” Sky reveals. “The doctor said the babies were really sick. The infection had set in and because the babies were so tiny, there was nothing more they could do. They had maxed out all possible medical interventions.

They asked us to come in because the girls weren’t going to make it through the night.”

“I have never, ever heard Trisden cry like that. He completely broke down.”

Sky Matheos' babies passed away together just hours apart
Sky Matheos’ babies passed away together just hours apart (Supplied)

When the couple got to the NICU around 11pm, there were doctors and nurses everywhere.

“That was when I knew something was really wrong,” she recalls. “It was so hectic. We wanted to see the girls, but at the same time we wanted to doctors to do whatever they needed.”

“I was so upset and scared, but I had spoken to so many mums on Facebook groups whose babies had pulled through, I truly thought our girls would defy the odds too. There are so many hopeful stories out there.”

READ MORE: ‘How my rainbow babies helped my heart to heal’

Sky is sharing her story for International Loss Day.
Sky is sharing her story for International Loss Day. (Supplied)

At around midnight, the head doctor turned to Sky and Trisdan and said that things ‘weren’t looking good’ for River and she was going to pass away soon – and that she could take her out of the incubator so she could die in Sky’s arms.

“I was so worried about taking her out, micro-preemies are so delicate, I didn’t want to contribute to anything,” Sky explains, dwelling on the most heartbreaking decision she’s ever made.

“The doctor basically said ‘You can stand there and watch her die alone or we put her in your arms so she dies where she is familiar, listening to your heartbeat’.”

Just before midnight, River was placed in her mother’s arms.

“It was the first time I held her,” Sky sobs. “And I just cuddled her and cried and prayed she would make it through. I told her to stay. But about 10 minutes later she took her last breath.”

‘Our world stopped’

Tragically, baby Remi then went through the exact same process just five hours later, also passing away in Sky’s arms.

Sky says nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child.
Sky says nothing can prepare you for the loss of your child. (Supplied)

The couple stayed at the hospital until the following day, cuddling their babies and having precious photographs taken.

“Our world stopped when Remi and River died,” Sky reveals. “I will never forget leaving the hospital with empty arms … and we saw a mum and dad leaving the hospital with their newborn twins.”

“I was in shock. I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve been in physical pain since we lost the girls. And the pain never goes away… you just grow around it.”

“I can’t stop playing that last night in my head. And I think about River and Remi constantly, especially at night time when it’s quiet.”

Break the silence

Sky is sharing her story as part of International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day – to let others know they are not alone and to break the taboo that still surrounds infant loss.

“There is nothing that can prepare you for the loss of your babies,” the brave mum admits. “Yet sadly it affects so many Australian families.”

“I want people to know how common it is and to help raise awareness so we can help stop the stigma.”

While Sky is still so grief-stricken she is unable to work, she hopes to make it easier for families to speak openly about their own loss experiences.

“Why is it that as soon as you mention a pregnancy loss or deceased baby the conversation stops? Usually during a conversation about children, if they are living there are many questions, but if you mention your baby has died, the conversation becomes awkward.

“I want to talk lovingly about Remi and River and want people to ask me about them and say their names.”

How you can get involved

  • Friday 15 October – Light a candle at 7pm to join the wave of light for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Take a photo and upload to social media with #pail and #standingsilent
  • Sunday 17 October – SANDS Virtual Walk to Remember online event:
  • 10 – 17 October: Walk to Remember events in Perth, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Adelaide and regional Queensland:

For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here.

If you need immediate help please call Lifeline on 131114

If you or someone you know has suffered pregnancy or infant loss please contact:
Pink Elephants Support Network –
pinkelephants.org.au
SANDS –
sands.org.au
Red Nose Australia –
rednose.org.au

FOLLOW US ON GOOGLE NEWS

Read original article here

Denial of responsibility! Quick Telecast is an automatic aggregator of the all world’s media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials, please contact us by email – [email protected]. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.
Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.