Weirdest Australian TV moments

In its latter days, Chances pivoted to plotlines featuring, among others, vampires with lasers, man-eating plants, Abigail (of Number 96 fame) as TV sexpert Bambi Chute, and Neo-Nazis hunting for Eva Braun’s necklace, which had the power to turn its wearer into an ancient Egyptian goddess. It didn’t help the ratings, but it did inspire a sort of awe in viewers, who were now becoming used to switching the TV on and exclaiming “what the hell is going on”.

When reality TV came along, Aussie shows took the opportunity to supercharge the weirdness. In 2006, Network Ten trumpeted its new show Rene’s Getting Married, in which a young woman would choose a suitor from a gaggle of hopefuls and actually marry the dude, all on camera. The show hit its first snag two weeks before the premiere, when Rene revealed that actually she’d rather be normal and pulled out. Producers scrambled to find another woman with an unnatural desire to marry a stranger, and Rene’s Getting Married became Yasmin’s Getting Married. Audiences goggled in disbelief and four weeks into the run the show was axed due to widespread queasiness.

That reality experiment died from lack of viewers, but in 2004, plenty were watching Big Brother series 4, when surprisingly named contestant Merlin Luck produced one of the greatest moments in live TV history. After being evicted from the BB house, Luck came out on stage to meet host Gretel Killeen with gaffer tape over his mouth and a sign reading “FREE TH REFUGEES” (the “e” on “the” had fallen off). As Killeen attempted to question Luck about his time in the house, his decision to protest, and what, generally, the go was, the radical housemate simply sat, vibrating slightly, and refused to talk. It was awkward and confusing and utterly mesmerising.

Live TV can do that: as carefully as you prepare, you can never guarantee nothing will go wrong. As Australia’s Top Model host Sarah Murdoch found out in the live finale of the 2010 series. Standing on stage next to top two contestants Kelsey and Amanda, Murdoch waited for the winner’s name to be relayed to her through her earpiece before saying, “it’s you, Kelsey.” The crowd went wild and Kelsey made a heartfelt speech about how honoured she was.

Just as Amanda was making an equally heartfelt runner-up address, Murdoch’s face fell and her hand went again to her ear. “Oh my god … I don’t know what to say right now … I’m feeling a bit sick about this … no …” the stunned supermodel said, before uttering those now-immortal words, “I’m so sorry …it’s Amanda.” Confusion and embarrassment reigned: Amanda made a muted acknowledgment, Kelsey responded with frankly heroic composure, and Sarah Murdoch resolved never to do live TV again. At least not in Australia, where even the showpiece event of the world’s most glamorous reality franchise can end up as a botched pub raffle draw.

That’s the common thread in all of Australian TV’s weirdest moments: that sense that in this country, we make things up as we go along, and make the best of whatever disaster comes along.

There’s no better proof of this than the time that then opposition leader Tony Abbott decided to try out his own flavour of improv comedy when being interviewed by Seven’s Mark Riley. Asked by Riley about controversial comments regarding Australian casualties in Afghanistan, Abbott departed from the conventional political technique of “saying things” and instead fell silent.

Staring at Riley with searing intensity, as if trying to make the reporter’s head explode with the power of his mind, Abbott remained wordless for a full 30 seconds before finally announcing, “I’ve given you the response you deserve”, and sweeping off into the annals of history. Truly weird TV. Truly Aussie TV.

In its latter days, Chances pivoted to plotlines featuring, among others, vampires with lasers, man-eating plants, Abigail (of Number 96 fame) as TV sexpert Bambi Chute, and Neo-Nazis hunting for Eva Braun’s necklace, which had the power to turn its wearer into an ancient Egyptian goddess. It didn’t help the ratings, but it did inspire a sort of awe in viewers, who were now becoming used to switching the TV on and exclaiming “what the hell is going on”.

When reality TV came along, Aussie shows took the opportunity to supercharge the weirdness. In 2006, Network Ten trumpeted its new show Rene’s Getting Married, in which a young woman would choose a suitor from a gaggle of hopefuls and actually marry the dude, all on camera. The show hit its first snag two weeks before the premiere, when Rene revealed that actually she’d rather be normal and pulled out. Producers scrambled to find another woman with an unnatural desire to marry a stranger, and Rene’s Getting Married became Yasmin’s Getting Married. Audiences goggled in disbelief and four weeks into the run the show was axed due to widespread queasiness.

That reality experiment died from lack of viewers, but in 2004, plenty were watching Big Brother series 4, when surprisingly named contestant Merlin Luck produced one of the greatest moments in live TV history. After being evicted from the BB house, Luck came out on stage to meet host Gretel Killeen with gaffer tape over his mouth and a sign reading “FREE TH REFUGEES” (the “e” on “the” had fallen off). As Killeen attempted to question Luck about his time in the house, his decision to protest, and what, generally, the go was, the radical housemate simply sat, vibrating slightly, and refused to talk. It was awkward and confusing and utterly mesmerising.

Live TV can do that: as carefully as you prepare, you can never guarantee nothing will go wrong. As Australia’s Top Model host Sarah Murdoch found out in the live finale of the 2010 series. Standing on stage next to top two contestants Kelsey and Amanda, Murdoch waited for the winner’s name to be relayed to her through her earpiece before saying, “it’s you, Kelsey.” The crowd went wild and Kelsey made a heartfelt speech about how honoured she was.

Just as Amanda was making an equally heartfelt runner-up address, Murdoch’s face fell and her hand went again to her ear. “Oh my god … I don’t know what to say right now … I’m feeling a bit sick about this … no …” the stunned supermodel said, before uttering those now-immortal words, “I’m so sorry …it’s Amanda.” Confusion and embarrassment reigned: Amanda made a muted acknowledgment, Kelsey responded with frankly heroic composure, and Sarah Murdoch resolved never to do live TV again. At least not in Australia, where even the showpiece event of the world’s most glamorous reality franchise can end up as a botched pub raffle draw.

That’s the common thread in all of Australian TV’s weirdest moments: that sense that in this country, we make things up as we go along, and make the best of whatever disaster comes along.

There’s no better proof of this than the time that then opposition leader Tony Abbott decided to try out his own flavour of improv comedy when being interviewed by Seven’s Mark Riley. Asked by Riley about controversial comments regarding Australian casualties in Afghanistan, Abbott departed from the conventional political technique of “saying things” and instead fell silent.

Staring at Riley with searing intensity, as if trying to make the reporter’s head explode with the power of his mind, Abbott remained wordless for a full 30 seconds before finally announcing, “I’ve given you the response you deserve”, and sweeping off into the annals of history. Truly weird TV. Truly Aussie TV.